Southwest Airlines is being sued for “breach of contract, unjust enrichment, and negligent and reckless operation of an aircraft,” as reported in today’s Los Angeles Times. Ignoring those FAA directives just got a lot more expensive. The litigants claim Southwest ”broke its contract with travelers by carrying them on planes that missed safety inspections over a period of about six years,” said the Associated Press.
I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t see this coming. Silly me, I’m still thinking inside the box, that air carriers should be sued only when a plane actually crashes. Fast thinking lawyers and at least four Southwest passengers truly embody modern America: The first one into court wins!
The lawsuit promises huge rewards – for the lawyers at least – because class-action status is being sought for as many as “hundreds of thousands of people who traveled on Southwest planes from January 2002 through last month,” according to the AP. Holy cow! That includes me! How much money can I expect to receive? Lew Garrison, a lawyer representing the aggrieved passengers, “said the lawsuit primarily seeks reimbursement for tickets for those flights on the grounds [Southwest] did not comply with government regulations and did not honor its contract with customers.” If memory serves, I believe I paid about $100 for round-trip fare between Burbank and Las Vegas. Bummer. I should have listened to Southwest’s prodding to “move about the country.” I wonder what the lawyers will get…
Now, let’s see. The Southwest Airlines kafuffle is just the tip of the iceberg. American Airlines, United Airlines, and a host of other carriers also used aircraft out of compliance with FAA airworthiness directives. Moreover, we know from Senate testimony that these violations have been the norm for decades. Man, the litigation possibilities are cleared for takeoff! Can 60-year-olds apply for law-school?
If you have flown on one of the offending air carriers, but don’t know how to get in line for your just desert, I can help. Simply go to www.SueEasy.com and sign up. Now hear this: this is no drill! General quarters! AUUUGGGAAA! AUUUGGGAAA! United Press International is reporting the existence of this website, which claims its “primary concern is for you to register a genuine complaint or grievance as quickly and as simply as possible.” I admit, it’s a goldmine of litigious opportunity.
Michael Arrington, writing on TechCrunch, is as enthused about SueEasy as I am. “The site,” says Mr. Arrington, “allows people to file (or search for) grievances, join with others looking for a payout, and eventually get the attention of a first class ambulance chaser to take your case.” With one click you can join “CLASS ACTION ID #256, Case Title: Unable to quit smoking.” SueEasy is particularly thrilled with the prospect of slamming big tobacco again. Fence-sitting smokers are told “JOIN THIS CLASS ACTION NOW! YOU COULD BE PART OF A HUGE SETTLEMENT. SIMPLY TYPE YOUR COMPLAINT BELOW.
OK, here’s mine: I hate lawyers!
Or, you can throw in your lot with “CLASS ACTION ID #258, Case Title: Circumcision is sexual abuse, torture and humiliation.” The summary is rated PG-13, “Any man that was circumcised is due reparations for the lost sexual functioning he inevitably suffered since circumcision removes the most sensitive part of the penis.” Now they tell me!
As we have pointed out before, only two groups of Americans oppose tort reform: trial lawyers and Democrat politicians. The cost of bogus lawsuits is always paid by consumers, some of whom must be Democrats. You Democrats out there, do you understand that successful class-action lawsuits against Southwest and other airlines will mean dramatically higher airfares, and successful medical malpractice lawsuits are a major contributing factor to the high cost of health care? Is this thing on? Can you hear me now?
David E. Bernstein has it right: “By all reasonable measures, the American tort system is a disaster. It resembles a wealth-redistribution lottery more than an efficient system to compensate those injured by the wrongful actions of others.” Short of a revolution, only legislators can reform our legal system, and only Republican legislators want to. Keep that in mind this November.
Posted by Jerry Pomeroy in Cultural Insanity, Tort Reform